Monday, 3 August 2015

Slumber Party - Christopher Pike

Ok first let me offer my sincerest apologies for not posting in so long, I have been writing them i swear but I keep forgetting to post them! to make up for it I'll post a few this week (I hope). 

Another Christopher Pike, however the title doesn't make sense to me. The girls are on a weekend ski trip, which is hardly a slumber party. I would have called it "Ski Trip" or something a little more revealing of the plot like "Yet Another Christopher Pike Book About Revenge!" Because you know all his books so far seem to be about a group of friends harbouring a secret that comes back to haunt them.

I mean this will only be the 3rd Pike book I've read but I'm gonna go ahead and assume I'm right anyway, bc I'm always right, right?
I've used the word prawn a lot in this one, so for those unaware of the slang we have down under, a prawn is basically someone with a good body but an ugly face.
Get it? Bc you eat the prawns body but not its head? Cool.
Anyway this time we focus on a group of 6 teenage girls who are getting back together for the first time after 8 years at the same place that something BAD happened last time all those years ago.

Our heroines and a little fact about them:
Lara - 50s bangs, ew!

Dana - prawn, but puts out, shit driver.
Celeste - Younger, shy, virginal.

Rachael - Queen bee, bitch, beautiful.

Nell - Suffered bc of the group's actions.

Mindy - Dumbass, idolises Rachael.

Ok so 8 years ago our group of Lara, Dana, Rachael, Mindy, Nell, and to Nell's chagrin her younger sister Nicole were all having a slumber party at Dana's when they decide to get drunk (these girls are 10 years old what the fuck) at Rachael's encouragement (of course) and play with Ouija board by candle light.
It gives them a brief description of their futures (boring) and they all deny moving the planchette. Then the board starts talking about an evil spirit and spells out and then points out Nicole. Super scared, Nicole accidentally knocks off a candle which falls to the carpet and starts a fire beneath Nicole, who's robe catches as the girls try to put the fire out. Nicole is covered in flames and Nell is being burnt trying to help her. Aw.
Then get this right, dipshit Lara pours the rest of the alcohol on Nicole to try and put the fire out. ?!?!?! Of course Nicole catches fire herself and dies of infection from her burns a week later in hospital.
Nell undergoes a series of skin grafts, denounces herself from the friend group and her family moves away a month later. Lara feels the most guilt (as she should) bc she promised Nicole she wouldn't let her die, and the girls don't want to talk about it which sends her into a depression until she hears from Nell one night and all is apparently forgiven. Cute.
Lara, Dana and new friend Celeste are driving in the mountains towards that same house where they'll be staying for the weekend when a roadblock pops up in front of them. They see Rachael's car nearby and know she, along with the other girls, must be at the cabin already.
This first trio are greeted by none other than KFC's very own Colonel Sanders, or his doppelgänger at the very least.
Colonel tells the girls they'll have to ski or walk to the house, and if they leave their keys he'll bring their cars down to the lodge for them! These girls are dumb no way would I be giving my keys to a stranger and certainly not one who resembles the Colonel!
The girls quickly unpack their stuff after a brief bitching session about their friend and Lara's fellow homecoming queen candidate Rachael, who apparently along with Nell insisted their ski weekend MUST be this weekend (suss!), despite a big storm on its way that night, which the Colonel warns the girls about. They already know of course, and still came out anyway bc they're dumb.
Dana also thinks it was Rachael who got her kicked off the student council at school. That Rachael, what a bitch!
And that Dana, what a nerd! All this tension already!
The girls continue to their lodge on their skis, however Celeste has a bad back, so must walk, and isn't much help with carrying their belongings.
Dana hopes they'll meet some BOYS there but she's fug and apparently is used by boys for her body. What a prawn! Lara can't be anything special either bc nobody asks her out ever. Celeste is quiet on the matter and Lara suggests maybe she's too shy and Celeste agrees quickly. Suss! Lara flashes back to when she first met Celeste on the second day of school that year. She was a sophomore but Lara felt drawn to Celeste, who always dressed bundled up for the cold, even when it was warm. Ok I'm just going to throw it out there Celeste is really Nicole, who didn't really die, and covers her body bc she also has dreadful scars like her sister. Or maybe it's Zombie Nicole. Who knows.
The trio finally reaches the 3-story house they'll be staying in, and Dana and Lara give Celeste a brief lesson about Nell, who's family is super rich and owns it, telling her about the fire that they all contributed to that burned their friend horribly at their last slumber party. They leave the part out about Nicole. If Celeste is really Nicole she won't be happy, how rude to not even get an honourable mention! Despite her surgeries, Nell is still seriously scarred. Because she moved away not long after the accident and although she kept in regular contact with the girls, this is the first time they've seen her in 8 years!
The girls go inside and meet up with Mindy, Rachael, and Nell, who suffers through an awkward introduction between herself and Celeste.
YEAH BC THEY RECOGNISE EACHOTHER BC CELESTE IS REALLY NICOLE. If I'm right and let's hope I am, is Nell in on it? Or is she all "wtf sis ur dead!?"
Lara notes that Nell should have been beautiful if it wasn't for what happened.
Fuck sake Lara do you have anything nice to say about anyone?
The girls want to hit the slopes but Celeste can't bc of her bad back, and Nell is drained from all the cleaning she's done of the house,so those two opt to stay home.
Before the others go though, Mindy insists on showing the group the snowman her and Rachael had made, but it's melted! But how?! It's too cold for something to just melt!
Lara notes the thin circle of ice where the snowman should have been, which looks like it was melted with fire and then froze up again in the cold. Spooky!
Anyway Lara, Dana, Mindy and Rachael go get fitted for skis when Rachael decides that she and Mindy need to go meet some other friends for a bit. Lara and Dana take the opportunity to go eat after a cutting remark from Rachael about Dana's double chin (I love Rachael), where they bump into super hot 22 year old Percy and his inferior acquaintance Cal. Naturally Dana gets Cal bc she's the fug one.
Lara invites the boys to come back to the house later that night, quickly calling Nell to make sure it's alright, who also seems to have forgotten Celeste's name. (MAYBE BC IT'S NOT CELESTE!)
Then Rachael and Mindy arrive, outraged that the boys were with Lara and Dana when they were suppose to be meeting them!
They then go hit the slopes where the two pairs of girls literally don't speak to each other at all. Whatever happened to chicks before dicks? On Lara's initiative, the girls call a truce and do a few runs of the slopes together. Mindy and Dana are shit though so they straddle behind, and on their last run Rachael divides that she and Lara should go through the forest slope, for more of a challenge.
Lara thinks about Percy a lot. She is literally in love with him after a half hour conversation with him and she needs to be kicked in the head. Luckily Rachael has my back on this one as she cuts in front of Lara and makes her lose her balance and roll into a tree. And then skis off. Hahahahahaha.
Percy suddenly appears and tends to the cut on Lara's head and her injured leg, claiming that he was following them to catch up with them so they could all ski together.
The twosome then goes to talk in the diner, and Lara has a few fleeting thoughts about the whereabouts of her friends bc it's getting dark now and the storm clouds are rolling in. She doesn't care that much though, until Percy wants to get a few more runs in on the slopes and abandons her. She bumps into the Colonel and asks for Dana and Rachael's keys to their cars but he tells her he's off duty and promises to have the cars to them before they leave on Sunday. Before she can leave for the house, Cal arrives, and Lara reminds him about the party that night (6 girls and 2 guys sounds like an orgy to me),surprised that he had no idea about it when Percy should he told him.
She invites him anyway, and he goes all weird but agrees to come. She's surprised again to know that he doesn't need directions bc he already knows where the place is.
Lara don't be so paranoid u nitwit.
Anyway Lara limps her way slowly back to the house when Mindy comes towards her and helps her. She had been with Dana heading towards the house, but left her to make her own way home alone to "come find Dana" but really she wanted to find Cal for a quick make out sesh. Slut!
The twosome continue up the hill to the house when they find one of Dana's skis, a small trail of prints that suddenly end, and a sheet of ice similar to the one where the snowman had been. Again Lara is reminded of fire. WAS DANA BURNT ALIVE?! Shiiiiiit.
They take the ski and return to the house to find Nell, who hasn't seen Dana or Rachael back at the house.
Celeste is apparently inside showering and Lara barges in on her to ask if she'd seen the others. Celeste quickly wraps herself up in the shower curtain to hide her body (I bet it's to hide her burn scars) and tells Lara she hasn't seen anyone.
Lara spies an ointment on the sink labelled "N. Kutroff" assuming it's Nell who MUST be in the room adjacent to Celeste's that shares the bathroom.
Lara u r so dumb it could not be more painfully obvious the N stands for NICOLE and that is who Celeste really is!
I swear to god if I'm wrong about this I will stab myself. 
Anyway Lara then phones the lodge and leaves the house number with Roger, the desk clerk, who promises to let Dana know to call if he sees her. Lara also asks Roger about the Colonel, who supposedly works there too, but Roger knows no one by that description. I bet the Colonel is a thief!
Then Lara and Celeste cook up a feast before Lara has a shower to wash the dried blood from her hair, and then takes a nap where she dreams of the fire 8 years ago.
Lara is awakened by Celeste, who doesn't want to be there anymore.
Lara narrows it down to homesickness and Celeste says she needs to tell her something but changes her mind.
She overhears Rachael on the phone talking about getting Dana out of the way and Lara being just another fly to swat. Ooooooh. But she's only talking about beating Lara and becoming Homecoming Queen and getting Dana kicked off the student council.
Dana still hasn't returned and the party begins.
After a few drinks, Cal is all over Celeste who's not keen at all, which starts up an argument between Nell and Cal. Mindy comes to Cal's defence, and Nell kicks him and throws some brandy on Mindy, soaking her arm.
Percy tries to intervene but ends up punching an unruly Cal, who falls into Mindy who's arm lands close to the fire. You know what happens next.
Celeste flees and Rachael puts out the fire, and Cal is kicked out. Lara calls the lodge and is put on the phone with a doctor who gives instructions how to care for Mindy.
She knows there's something sinister going on here, as fire is a connection between all the events that have happened so far.
She pours her heart out to Percy, confessing about Nicole and everything else, but he offers logical support, not entertaining her conspiracies about an intentional firebug.
She visits Celeste in bed who confesses everything she's told the girls has been a lie and they all must leave before falling asleep.
Lara dismisses it bc she's a fuck head. I would have woken Celeste up and been like "what are you talking about?"
Also it is revealed that Celeste and Nell are not sharing adjoining rooms, so that cream must belong to Celeste (but Lara doesn't pick up on this either, having forgotten about the ointment).
Lara decides to walk Percy part of the way back to where he's staying, so she can look at the spot where the last trace of Dana had been. They kiss and he tastes like carrot cake (?!).
She takes a chunk of dirty frozen ice back to her room and falls asleep as it defrosts.
Her alarm clock goes off an hour later (at 3am... Who the fuck set it, bc she sure didn't?!) and she discovers among the defrosted ice some ash and what looks like a charred bone. Which naturally she decides is Dana's!
She knows she MUST escape now but decides she can't trust any of the girls 100% so goes alone. She decides she should take the snow mobile in the basement and before she can go down the stairs she notices kerosine being poured down there.
She locks whoever it is inside and runs outside, planning on going to the lodge but succumbing to the cold.
But not before she unthaws her hands by peeing on them and sets off a flare, only to have Cal come to her rescue before passing out.
She comes too in the basement of the house tied up alongside Rachael and Dana! Yay. The girls are surrounded by kerosine bottles and a propane tank. Apparently Cal had brought Lara back to the house and left.
They explain that Nell is getting her revenge on them all. Mindy is in bed passed out from medication that Nell had given her, and the girls are happy to see Celeste walk down the basement stairs.
Then Lara finally realises. Celeste is Nicole. Duh Lara! She flashes back to all the obvious hints towards Celeste's true identity but it's too late now. Nicole ain't happy with the girls. She shows them her scarred body and tells them that her parents told everyone she was dead so she could have a fresh start (horrible parenting). It becomes apparent that Nell had lied to her sister all these years by telling her that Lara poured gasoline on her on purpose, instead of alcohol that she thought would put the fire out. In her version, Nell is the hero. Of course. Nell appears and confesses to all the mysteries that had been going on.
The truth comes out about the original fire however and Nicole is hesitant in their plans to blow the house up. She tries to untie Lara but is caught by Nell, who's super angry. Nicole heads upstairs while Nell is about to set them all on fire when when Lara realises she's lose enough to reach the flare gun and fires it at the puddle of kerosine at Nell's feet, which sets her on fire.
Nell doesn't fight it, literally just lies down and dies.
The girls escape the house before its blown up (and not before Dana also pisses her pants) and are rescued by Colonel Sanders, who Roger didn't know bc he was new and the Colonel is retired but just helps out all the time.
The end.

Ok I really liked this one it was short and sweet. I liked most of the characters too, but it was WAY too predictable I mean you know Celeste was Nicole from like the first page basically.
And I feel like old Pikey boy has a bit of a piss fetish or something he seems to make a lot of people soil themselves! No judgment though. ;)

7 10 year olds getting drunk out of 12!

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