Monday, 13 April 2015

Fear Street - The Secret Bedroom

This cover is great although I'm not a fan of that haircut Lea!
It seems like the skeleton just wants some privacy but Lea is being a nosy bitch and trying to invade the space of skeletor's eerie green room!
Fuck off Lea you nosy bitch! I'm on skeletor's side judging my the cover! I bet a skeleton doesn't even appear in this book though fml.
Anyway let's read!

Lea Carson has just moved to Shadyside with her family. Her parents like to fix up houses so of course they moved into the shabbiest one and of course it's on Fear Street! 
This is Lea's second week at Shadyside High and the only friend she's made happens to be Deena Martinson (who happens to be the main girl from Wrong Number 1 and 2. Yay for continuity!).
Lea's in the lunchroom with a tray of chilli when she suddenly slips and the chilli goes all over Marci and her new white cashmere sweater! Che disastro! Marci is super angry and storms off to wash herself off while everyone laughs at Lea the clumsy ox!
But it's ok bc although Lea is shy, she's not ugly. She's actually quite cute. She gets told this all the time apparently. And she has a great smile. Cooooooooooool?
A boy, Don Jacobs, from who was sitting with Marci helps Lea clean up her mess and is really sweet and cute, hehe! They talk for a bit and Don justifies Marci's anger by saying "she's a redhead!" And I laughed for like 3 minutes bc that's a good excuse! He asks her on a date for Saturday night and she speechlessly accepts. Cute.
Lea finds Deena who tells her that Don is Marci's boyfriend since forever and to be careful of Marci.
Uh oh. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Don is pretending to like Lea so that he can humiliate her. Cunt.
On her up the walkway to her house she thinks about how scary it is then tells herself to chill out. More like CHILLI out am I right?!?!? Hahahahaha nice one.
Flashback to when Lea's family first inspected the house with the real estate agent, Mrs. Thomas (who is the mother of the Shadyside bike Suki Thomas!! I love Suki!), and Lea hates the idea of moving there so she's a sassy little bitch to her parents and I LOVE her now. Although she needs to get rid of that haircut. They explore the attic and find a boarded up bedroom, and Mrs. Thomas reluctantly tells them that it's boarded up bc of a murder that happened in there 100 years ago. She doesn't know who, or why, just that it happened. The family agrees to leave the door alone, but Lea thinks she hears breathing on the other side of the door. Spooky!
It's Saturday now and Lea is on the phone to Deena before her date. She's super nervous.
She looks in the mirror and contemplates getting a new hairstyle (yes please!) bc she doesn't want to be cute anymore she wants to be sophisticated. Shut up Lea.
Anyway Don never shows up so an hour later she calls his house where his mother tells her he's out with Marci. For some stupid reason she decides to then call Marci who tells her it was all a joke and laughs and laughs and laughs. Bitch.
Lea somehow convinces herself that Don DOES really like her and that Marci made him break their date even though he didn't want to. Bitch is starting to sound like Darlene from Deadly Attraction!
Later that night Lea is trying to sleep when she wears what sounds like footsteps above her in the attic, before convincing herself she imagined it and drifting off.
I bet it's a g-g-g-g-g-ghost!
At school on Monday Don apologises but Lea is uninterested.
Then Marci apologises and invites Lea to a sorority meeting on the fourth floor the next afternoon but Lea's not stupid! Shadyside High is only 3 stories high!
Marci laughs and walks off and Lea vows to get her back. Coooooool.
It's Saturday night now and loser Lea is home alone watching Ghost. Again.
"Patrick Swayze is a real babe, she thought, stretching sleepily. He can come haunt me anytime." I find this so funny I don't know why but I laughed for so long! Nice one Lea!
She's about to go to sleep when she hears the footsteps in the attic again. She goes to investigate and realises the sound is coming from behind the boarded up door!
Then a waterfall of blood starts dripping down the door and pooling at her feet! What the what!
Lea freaks out and calls Deena and then the police. Deena rushes over and Lea forces her into the attic to show her the blood but there's nothing there. Of course there isn't!
Deena convinces Lea it was jut a dream as the police arrive and Lea tells the policeman that she thought there was an intruder but she was wrong. He looks around anyway and tells her you can never be too careful on this street. Too right!
Lea hears the noises every night as she's in bed. How annoying!
On another lonely Saturday night she decides to investigate up in the attic and hears a girl's voice behind the door, although she can't make out the words. Then several spikes stab through the door!
Shitting her pants Lea rushes down the ladder from the attic and shuts it behind her and realises the phone is ringing.
It's Don, asking her to meet him at the mall so he can make it up to her for breaking their date the previous weekend. Lea accepts and I think it's more so she can get out of the house than anything.
She pulls on some tan corduroy slacks and a yellow sweater and I just vomited. Honey no. Plz.
When she arrives at Pete's Pizza she finds Marci across the booth from Don. Don is awkward and Marci is a bitch. So what's new? Was this a setup to humiliate the poor Lea? Who cares.
She hurries back to the car after crashing into a waitress, even more humiliated. She could kill Marci, she reckons. Surely it's all Marci's fault! She made Don do it!
Lea no boy is going to do something like that unless he wants to, his girlfriend can't force him to do it! He's just trying to save face that's my theory!
Back in bed Lea hears the footsteps in the attic again and is determined to find out who's up there. As she approaches a girl's voice calls out from the other side of the door for her to open it!
I would literally poo in my pants if I was Lea but apparently she's not as weak as I am bc she decides to unlock the door.
She easily pries the old rotting wooden planks from the door and is surprised to find the key in the doorknob!
Ok now I don't know about you but if I wanted a room to never be opened again I wouldn't leave the key in the doorknob for some teenager to find years later.
Lea opens the door and stares into a beautifully decorated room, and sitting on a large canopy bed she sees a beautiful yet old fashioned looking girl about the same age.
The girl tells her she's been so lonely for years, and Lea realises that she's a ghost.
Ok let that be the clue that tips you off Lea, not the fact that the door to the room has been locked for a century with no other way in yet you kept hearing someone up there. Idiot.
Lea is super scared and backs away from the girl, who only wants to touch her hair. Ok?
Lea locks her back in the room and hurries to bed.
The next morning she convinces herself it was just a dream that seemed super real and goes to the tennis club with Deena.
She tells her all about the dream and Deena dismisses it as anxiety being released after her move. Aw I like Deena what a cutie.
Deena also notifies Lea that that scummy bitch Marci is spreading lies about her at school. Aww.
That night she hears footsteps in the attic again and goes up to investigate and realises she hadn't been dreaming the night before! She decides to open the door again, God knows why, probably bc she's an Idiot.
The ghost girl tells Lea she won't hurt her (bullshit) and introduces herself as Catherine. I feel like that's such an old fashioned name.
We learn that Catherine was born out of wedlock and her parents, not wanting to tarnish their reputation with an evil child, kept her locked in the room her whole life. When she tried to escape, they killed her. Poor Cathy. She seems suss to me though. I don't like her.
She wants to touch Lea's hair again bc it's so beautiful and ends up pulling it while talking about how they'll be such good friends and Lea screams in pain. What a bitch!
Lea manages to break free and runs to her room, but goes back up when she can't remember if she locked the hidden door behind her or not. She finds it shut and locked to her relief, but I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Catherine did that. Oh well.
Back in bed, the eyes of Lea's fave stuffed toy glow evilly red and Lea is super duper scared.
At school the next day that cunt Marci is spreading lies about Lea and Lea wants to exact revenge.
She goes home concocting a plan to scare Marci, and it involves the ghostly Catherine. Oooo000ooOOOh spooky.
She rushes up to the attic and despite her fear, and after some apologies between the two (and Catherine admiring Lea's fug hair again) spills her plan to Catherine, who agrees. The plan is to take the ghost to Marci's house and convince the cow that Lea has evil powers. Catherine will make things float and move on cue which will exact this illusion.
But the only way for Catherine to leave the room is to invade Lea's body, which she does without asking Lea has no control of her own body now. Rude! I smell trouble. Oh well. Lea's too focused on revenge to care that much, and after all Catherine promises to leave her body when they get to Marci's house, which she does. Lea rings the doorbell with an invisible ghost Catherine next to her, ready to spook.
Marci greets her rudely and tries to slam the door in Lea's face, no surprises there, but Catherine, still invisible, holds it open a few inches. Lea barges in, telling Marci there's a reason she lives in fear street, as vases and coats and even Marci herself are picked up and carried around the room but Catherine.
Marci is super scared and runs upstairs calling for her mother, who comes out of her room to see what the fuss is. She trips and grab should of the railing, which gives way, and Marci plummets head first over the balcony. Oh shiiiiiiiit.
The police arrive and after some questioning, take Lea home, with Catherine tagging along in her body for the ride home.
After dinner Lea decides she needs to know if Catherine pushed her, and storms up to the secret room to demand answers.
Catherine transforms into some dark, cold, older looking figure and argues that Lea owes her for helping her that evening, and now Catherine wants her body.
Goddamn it Lea I warned you!
Catherine attempts to invade Lea's body but now that Lea knows what it feels like she's able to resist the sensation and manages to force her out before she's in their fully.
Lea escapes the secret room and locks it behind her before rushing to her parents for help. She tells them what's going on and of course they don't believe her so she takes them to the attic to prove it.
But alas the secret door looks as untouched as it did the day the Carson's moved in, boards and everything!
Her parents call the doctor who diagnoses her with a fever and orders her to bedrest. Later she awakens to find Catherine in her room, who tells her that Lea had never gone into the room upstairs, that she was always in her own room and Catherine simply invaded her mind and made her think she'd been in the secret room so that she wouldn't actually go into it and unleash the evil inside. Apparently the sounds Lea heard up there were all real, and she had investigated, and the waterfall of blood and the spikes were illusions in the attic that Catherine had created, but besides that Lea had never actually left her room apparently, it was all just in her mind.
Ok literally wtf? I know it's a Fear Street book but like that just seems pretty unbelievable to me.
Catherine had been in Lea's actual bedroom the whole time but had needed her to believe she was a good ghost. But now it's time for the pair to share bodies. Che disastro!
Catherine stays in Lea's body for the next few days while gaining enough strength to leave the house. She floats out of the body occasionally but always returns quickly, controlling Lea's every move and word.
Ok so we know Catherine can't leave the house unless she's in Lea's body, so when she leaves her body WHY DOESN'T LEA LEAVE THE HOUSE UNTIL SHE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO?!
Because she's fucking stupid that's why.
One beautiful day Lea's mother comes in and tells her sick daughter she should go for a walk to help get her strength back and Catherine jumps at the chance!
She moves to the wardrobe and grabs up a bit of twine left over from the moving boxes?
What does she need this twine for? Lea asks what we're all thinking, and it seems Catherine has decided that Don Jacobs needs to learn a lesson just as much as Marci did. Uh oh.
They stroll to Don's house to find him home alone. They talk for a bit before he hurries off to the kitchen to check the chicken his mother is cooking.
Catherine/Lea slowly follows, untangling the length of twine.
Lea doesn't understand what it's for until Catherine has it raised above the boys head about to strangle him.
Come on Lea. I knew she was dumb but are you serious? Catherine killed Marci what the fuck were you expecting her to do with Don and some twine?! As soon as I, and I'm sure all of you, read the word 'twine' I knew what the plan was. Lea is seriously so dumb, fuck.
The doorbell rings then and Don is literally saved by the bell.

It's his friends Corey Brooks and Gary Brandt from previous books! Yay for continuity!
The boys head out and Catherine/Lea returns home, her plans thwarted for the day.
That night Lea wakes up with full control of her body! Yay! Having a think, she decides the answers to her problems must lie in the secret bedroom up stairs and she heads on up to investigate.
I hope this isn't another hallucination Catherine plants into her head again!
She manages to get the boards off and is about to turn the knob when Catherine appears shrieking at her to not open the door! They struggle a bit and Catherine tries to enter Lea's body, but Lea manages to keep her out and thrusts the door open, revealing the skeleton's of Catherine's parents sitting on the canopy bed. They lunge for Lea, smothering her until Catherine escapes her body and accuses the skeletons of wanting to murder again.
The skeletons reveal that it was really Catherine who murdered them, and locked them away to await their chance for revenge. 
Then they literally hug the ghost girl to death. Yes hug. I'm not exaggerating or anything they literally truly HUG her to death. Ok.
Lea faints and wakes up in the hospital a week later. Her parents tell her she's had a high fever and they were really worried, and Lea assumes the events were all fever dreams. She learns Don Jacobs had been calling every day, worried about her. Fuck off Don Jacobs.
At home 3 days later Lea finally gets a chance to check the attic and finds the room all boarded up, but as she heads downstairs she finds Catherine's hair ribbon and realises it was all real. She vows not to tell anyone about the secret bedroom.
And then she goes downstairs to fix herself some breakfast.
The end.

I barely liked this book at all the only redeeming factor was Marci being killed and Catherine's death. Spooky!
Lea was stupid and annoying and I hope to never see her in another book.
The "twists" were literally dumb as fuck, I'm suppose to believe a ghost was planting false memories in this dumb girls head for 20 chapters? Lame.

2 hugs of death out of 10!

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